Yesterday... well.. it was just crappy. It just stunk. Sometimes, in life we just do not understand why God lets certain things happen and I am coming to realized that I need to just grasp that and move on.
I took Brinton for a swallow study yesterday and she did not pass. This was a super hard mom moment. I just wanted to run up to that speech therapist and punch her in the face. My eyes started to well up with tears and I wanted to run. Run far far away from that room and take my baby girl home to give her a bottle. That was not a reality and it was not going to be a reality for a little while. The words that came as they were explaining this whole situation was even harder. " We don't know why she did not pass, but there must be something more wrong." I just wanted to fall to my knees and scream "Why God.. why can't we have answers on our little girls future" So I calmly composed myself and listened, asked questions, and helped with a plan of action. I then broke down in the car like any good mom would do! HA!
So what is up next for our little Miss B... Well, we are headed to DuPont to meet with a Neurologist who specialises in Transverse Myelitis, which is the diagnosis she was given at discharge. There was also a long list of crap from the so said speech therapist. I have more hope in the DuPont appointment than others. She will start therapy with a variety of therapist very soon. Of course we have been down this road before and know where to find some top notch therapists!
A friend sent me this quote today: "because of this Lords great love We are not consumed, for his compassion never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." Currently, I am relying on God's faithfulness to us and our family....but this is really hard stuff!